We Didnt start the fire essay.

Billy Joel project
By Tim Suitor
(Warning: may contain loads of sarcasm)

1. H-Bomb: The H-bomb (hydrogen bomb) was important because of it; we killed hundreds of innocent people to prove we had power. And Japan believed us.  It also leads the way for major wars across the globe to see who can make the biggest baddest bombs.  As shown, humanity cannot control this power with out showing off what they can do.  And of course, when some one else gets this ‘wonderful’ gift, we (America) get really, really mad.

2. Disneyland:  Unlock your inner child; come to the land of six foot tall (not counting ears) mice that would just love a hug.  With all the movies, how could a theme park not be a good idea?  It opens and becomes a national hit.  Now we even have one in Europe. So if we can’t get into some county, we’ll just use our friendly Mickey Mouse to take over.  And racking in millions of our dollars, Disneyland is officially (in my mind) the world’s largest infomercial.

3. Space monkey:  First monkey in space. A great leap in science and technology.  If we can stick a monkey in orbit, what’s stopping us from colonizing a giant satellite in space?  Other than common sense that is.  Well with remarkable science like this, soon we might surpass the higher intelligence of cats.  

4. Mafia: Italian mobsters. Fancy, not as brutish as stereotypical muggers, but much better.  Know for ‘helping people’ by giving them ‘protection’. For a fee, of course.  And Hollywood has a field day with as many movies as they can sell. They have most obviously made several considerable foot notes in science.  Such as when your legs are engulfed in cement, you don’t float.  If you wear a tux, you can get away with bloody murder (however you would like to take that it works. Literally or figuratively).  Just remember, (insert godfather voice here) don’t mess with my family.

5. Birth control: (alright, please don’t hate me for this one)
What is one of the few things keeping people from having affairs, and sleeping around with everyone? The risk of pregnancy.  Say Joe and Jane are married.  Joe, being the man of the house, sleeps on the couch.  He hasn’t slept in his bed for most of the year.  A couple months later Jane has a kid.  Joe won’t be to happy now, will he?  Now because of birth control Joe doesn’t have to know.  But as they say, guns don’t kill people, husbands who come home early do.

6. Vaccine:  Ask your self what kills people (ignoring previous joke).  Me, people, cars, brain eating zombies, sickness.  At least that’s what I first think of.  Well sickness is up there, and almost every thing else can be dealt with one way or another.  So what’s ravishing the world and cant be stopped?   Zombies.  But other than that.  Illness and plague.  Well now that’s a thing of the past!  We can live happily ever after due to the fact we get vaccines as little kids.

And of course, last but not least:

Hula Hoops:  Well what can I say.  God’s way of keeping three to ten year olds distracted for all of their two and a half second attention span.  Sorry. I just can’t make fun of this wonderful round piece of plastic.



That’s all folks!

                Creepy monkey say thanks for reading
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This has been a 229inc production.